.

I really don’t have anything to say right now. I’m just bored I guess. I don’t know if I really want to write or I just want to burn time. In fact, I’m even not sure if I appreciate this free time.

I want to be in an island and stay at a very pretty cottage where I can see the sea and the sun. I want to lie under the sky during the night and stare at the stars. I want to be in a cozy cottage with a fireplace while drinking a cup of chocolate drink while the rain is pouring outside. I want to be in a stadium and play basketball at night. I want to be up in a stage and sing without anyone watching.

I want to be alone.

I really don’t know anymore what it’s like to be by myself. Everytime I’m the only one at the house, I still feel that I’m not the only one. Of course, it’s not anthing paranormal. I guess, I’m just always preoccupied with the idea that I have a boyfriend and a big circle of friends. I forgot about what being alone felt like and frankly, I’m missing it right now.

There’s no implication to this of course. It’s not about me and my guy or me and my great friends.

It’s about me.

I want to be alone because I feel like it’s something I have to do…again.

I need to know the feeling. I need to experience the pain of being lonely and the longing for someone to own me. I need to feel the excitement, the curiosity of what intimacy feels like.

I need to make myself reminded why I chose not to be alone in the first place.

Somebody please get me out of here.