a logical claim that is illogically causing me anxiety disorders

Ok, i had the bad vibes out. Let's turn to the next subject.

Forgiveness.

A friend once said, "you have to separate the doer from the wrong doing." That kinda hit me hard.

I always hated people who reprimand me if i am not able to forgive. I say, my inability to forgive is a result of the wrong doings of others. I say, it's just a reaction to their mistakes. There would be no reaction if there wasn't any mistake done. This inability to forgive would not have been an inability if the wrong has not been done in the first place.

hmm..let's see. Separate the doer from the wrong doing? Help me on this guys, the wrong doing would not have hurt anybody if it had not been for the doer right? The wrong doing would have been nonexistent if it had not been for this individual who have chosen to do it...Am i making sense? My logic-meter says yes, i am making sense.

My friend told me to separate the doer from the wrong doing so i can forgive. Honestly, upon reflecting on what he said, i learned to hate the doer more.