..

He refused to have me back. And now, everyday is a fucker. I find myself waking up, (that is if I managed to sleep), with the worst kind of emptiness. I busy myself with korean DVDs and make myself believe that it can actually take my mind out of what happened. And then when it's (again) time to sleep, i think of you.

I know it may sound cruel but now that I'm grieving over my loss of him, I try to console myself by thinking of you...by pretending it's you I'm running after...by making myself believe that it's you I'm waiting for. Somehow, it gives me a sense of closure. You know why? Coz i know you'll never come back...nor speak to me...nor care for me. I think of you because you're cruel...because you left without even saying goodbye...because you hurt me...and because I know you won't know of this.

You will never know that I cried for every single phone call you refused to answer. You will never know how I hated November. And you will never know how much you hurt me.

And now that I cry for another, I think of you. Thinking of you is easier for me. Somehow it reminds me that the worst is over. It makes me believe that you're the reason for these tears.

Somehow, it's easier to cry over a person who you know will never care for you than to do so over a person whose love you took for granted.