The Chapter of my Life Called Blackhawks

We were both foot soldiers.

I was not instantly interested in him. I have a boyfriend that time, Reagan. I was head over heels over that guy such that nobody seemed to be equally lovable and likable. Not even him.

I remember only vague details about him before the time we dated. He was quiet most of the time. He laughed at my jokes. He has this soothing voice. And he looked respectable, morally upright and yeah...uptight. I remember him talking about his girlfriend one time. And I remember him pulling a practical joke on me...which I found cute. Other than those, I don't remember anything about our pre-relationship past anymore. If we really have one.

You see, we pulled it off in a sort of one time big time way. We were in a party. He was tipsy. I was too. He was in the process of getting over somebody. I was trying to cope with the recent break-up with 6-year-bestfriend-turned-boyfriend ex boyfriend, Reagan. It started off with a joke of us hooking up. Well, in normal circumstances, that kind of agreement is really that which you don't take seriously especially if it was made when both parties were influenced by alcohol. I remember feeling a bit awkward when I finally got back into my senses. I realized I wasn't too drunk to completetly forget everything that we talked about that night.

The first days of the pseudo-relationship was a whole game of trial and error. We both knew we weren't serious. It was just, we were both lonely.

I don't know the exact date. But one day, I woke up and I I felt I could never be happier. I was deeply in love with him. I loved the way he held my hand and the way he smiled. I loved the way he said sorry and the way he shared his thoughts. I loved the way he loved me. It was pure. It was true. And for a moment there, I thought, it was never-ending.

We had fights. We had disagreements. But nothing really prepared us from what happened that year. I found out about my dad's extra-marital affairs. And there, it began. Infidelity.

I was in a trance. I didn't mean everything I did. I was never happy with anyone else. But I found it hard to stop. Soonafter, our relationship began to fall down.

We tried to save it. We tried to hang on. But some things are really irreconcilable. He hurt me. And for various reasons, I think I understood him.

We were both foot soldiers. Fate led us there...to face that war together...And God knows how much we tried.

Jc and I lost the battle.

But I believe, I will never lose him, nor will he ever lose me.