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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Culprit Trainer in Action: The Job that Was

SYNTAX and SHIT

You want honesty? here it is.

There are people in the office I really hate. A lot of them actually. a whole lot. Our department is the perfect place to study organizational politics. It's chaos personified. The thought of it wants me to puke everything I ate since last week. That's how I seriously despise the situation. and the fact that i'm still here makes the feeling worse. It's like the constant feeling of being constipated. It's like eating shit...literally. Eeewww..i know.

How will I put it? hmm...well, for one, people here are so nosy. I don't know what pleasure they get from minding other people's businesses, but whatever pleasure that is, i just hope it's worth their reputations. They act around like perfect creatures of God, incapable of committing grammatical lapses or mispronunciations, when in fact, the only thing they know about are schwas and linking verbs and "syntax and shit". Seriously, I have never heard them talk about education, poverty, economics..things that matter. They're so fixated with "syntax and shit" that they already think highly of themselves just because they know the latin word for vowels. lame!

Two, they create gossips about people and their misdemeanors as if these things meant their lives. I don't care if this trainer slept with his trainee, so shove it! And what is it with sex scandals?! I pity people who find fault to people who are victims of those videos. Sick guys here would boast about their copies of that certain video and use (or misuse) modern technology to spread the footage with their i-pity-this-girl-in-the-video look in their faces. Oh common, do you actually believe these guys?! They keep copies of the naked videos of their co-workers and tell everyone they actually feel "pity"?! Yeah, they feel pity alright...while having an erection! We are adults here. Maturity is free just like common sense. The only thing these couples in the videos are at fault with, is that they just wanted to give sex a little spice. Is sex bad? Is a little spice bad? Well then, stop fantasizing over that freakin' video and go point your stick over something else. If those videos showed something, it showed that some people are (or were) getting it....with real people...real time. As for those who clamor over these videos...two words: tsk..tsk..(hahaha..words)!

Three, ass-kissing freaks are the worst kind of co-workers. Everytime I see this guy in the office, a picture of him eating our boss' feces comes into my mind. In that picture, he's licking my boss' butt then the feces comes out and he eats it. Graphic, isn't it. Well, that's how bad the situation is. Everybody knows how good of an ass-kisser he is. And nobody has the gutts to say anything (except me, of course) practically because his saliva is what's keeping our boss' bum clean. Our boss thinks he's all that. I'll let her enjoy her thoughts. Anyway, things we don't know won't hurt us. And i don't want my beloved boss to be hurt, right? *wink*


The good thing about being the so-so person in the office is that you get to observe everybody and you get to react on everything there is about them. You can hate them..even loathe them...and they wouldn't mind...basically because, they don't know....they don't know you're observing...they don't know you're wrath exists...they don't know you're capable of reacting....

*sigh* ....the power of apathy....



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Rhetorics and Realizations

1. Rhetorical Letter #1
Dear Boss,
If you're so good, why aren't you promoted yet?

love,
Rhetorical Trainer


2. Rheotrical Letter #2
Dear Co-workers,
Same question, if you're so good, why aren't you promoted yet?

love,
Rhetorical Trainer



3. Rhetorical Letter #3
Dear all,
If rhetorical letters 1 and 2 are really rhetorical, why are you still here in ACS?

love,
Rhetorical Trainer



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Desktops, Keyboards and Oxymorons

Oxymoron - a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (as cruel kindness)

1. Best Mediocres
2. True Hearsays
3. Idle Workhours
4. Hardworking bums
5. Appointed flexi schedule
6. Passive rebellion
7. Written listening exercises
8. Imperfect gods and godesses
9. Planned entropy
10. MISS ditte!


Above is a list of cleverly paired up words used by the author to intellegently describe the corporate phenomenon she calls "since-i'm-so-effin'-bored-i'm-gunna-make-a-blog".


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Sad Non sequiturs

Non Sequitur
1 : an inference that does not follow from the premises; specifically : a fallacy resulting from a simple conversion of a universal affirmative proposition or from the transposition of a condition and its consequent
2 : a statement (as a response) that does not follow logically from or is not clearly related to anything previously said


1. You're smart and hardworking,; Therefore, your boss will appreciate you being in the team. Non sequitur.

2. You are the boss of Language trainers; Therefore, you have good communication skills. Non sequitur

3. You are apathetic; Therefore you do not have something to say. Non sequitur.

4. You are the "anak ng diyos" in your team; Therefore, you are the best among your co-workers. Non sequitur.

5. You treat a person in the office as a friend; Therefore, he will keep your secrets and he won't do anything to pull you down. Non sequitur.


*me in my before-i-finished-this-module state

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