The Fling Sting

I recently came across a person I thought I would never see again. It was weird seeing him knowing that the chance of us bumping into each other again is close to impossible and that if that once in a million chance ever happens, it may be the last.

I saw MEllowYellow again. It hurt me a little bit looking at him because he reminded me of my infidelity. He reminded me of a past I am not proud of. And because it hurt me seeing him, I ended up even more hurt.

I really don't know how I affected him, if at all. I don't know what I meant in his life.I don't know if he ever made me a part of it or if I was just what I considered him to be - nothing more than a fling.

It hurts to feel hurt remembering good moments with somebody. It hurts that you cant even remininse happy memories because those memories should not have happened in the first place. You weren't supposed to be happy with him. I wasn't supposed to be happy with him - or with anybody else.

This is the irony of infidelity. You try to be with other people to be happier but in the end, are you really?

To MellowYellow, I know it may be too late now and you might not care anymore, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I may not smile when I see you. I'm sorry because I may not be able to separate your kindness from that selfish stint of infidelity I did. I'm sorry because I may not be able to see you as you but as you being that "other" guy. Whenever I see you, I'll see me; I'll see me hurting the people I loved.