soliloquy

Dear blog,

I write today because I don't have anybody else to talk to who will give me the same consideration as you can give me. I don't have anybody who would just hear me out - without judgment, without prejudice, without even trying to help me. I don't need help. I just need this. I need to talk.


I have lots of things I want to talk about. I want to talk about my nanay rosing and how i miss her dearly. I want to be able to talk about how just one mention of her makes me cry. i want to talk about my sister and how it is so hard to be the grown-up when I'm with her. I want to talk about my mom. i want to talk about how I would love it if I could send her flowers everyday so she won't get lonely in London. i would like to talk about my dad and how sometimes i wish God wasn't so generous to him; then, he and mom might not have broken up. I want to talk about my current concern of my health; and how i'm torn if i want to get sick or not. I want to talk about my vanity and my self-centered thoughts that maybe if i did get sick, my mom and dad would get back together, or my sister might change her attitude or my boyfriend may stop yelling at me. I would like to talk about how i love him and how i wish he would be you.


You see, I have lots of things I want to talk about. But I don't.