2 Libras

I don't know what it is. Call it stupidity, martyrdom...selflessness if you will, but if you decide to pose me the undearable question that is "why", I would probably give you the most ironic answer I can, "I don't know". And for someone who always knows, believe me, it takes a lot of ounces of self-doubt to admit to not knowing.

It's just a couple of days before he submits to his feelings and tell me the things I've been wanting him to tell me. I know; that's what he told me. You might think that I am in a perfect situation. I am finally getting what is due for me for more than a month now. But really, you're mistaken.

For some time I have waited for him to come to you. I dreaded the thought but did not dismiss the possibility. For what do I stand against a 2-year relationship? I am a mere stranger. I cannot bear to be the stimulus that inhibits what is fate. And so I have given him time, enough space so he can still run back to you if his heart tells him too, and enough belongingness so he'll still have someone to laugh with while he trudges the way to moving on. What do I stand to gain, you might ask? I wish I knew.

I don't want him to be half-hearted if/when he decides to be with me. I want him whole - the same thing he wants of me. I want to be the only one. Isn't that what you want too?

Please run after him now. If you still love him and you still want him back, take the risk. If he loves you still then he might just come back. And you will continue on with your love the way fate has designed. My heart will be broken, shattered in numerous pieces, but I'd take it.I'd take it because I know I deserve him whole. And if he cannot commit this, then the alternative will just be equally heartbreaking, if not more. If he decides to stay with me, then we still both win. You will never have the what-ifs in your head. You could say that you did give it your all. In the end, that's the only that will matter.

Do you still love him? Do you believe that you can take care of him more than I can? Do you feel that he can only be happy with you? Do you think that it would be best for him to come back?Will you love him if he does?

If you answered yes to all of these, then here's your chance. Take it. Give us both the favor of being with the person who loves us and not being with the one who doesn't.
I am giving you this chance because I love him. And I want him happy...no matter what that means.


P.S. I should hate you for the things you say wrongly of me. For now, I don't. Don't make it otherwise.