The Road to September

These are delayed posts on moments when emotions desperately want to be verbalized. They never got to be verbalized though...only written in silence in some technology.

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Soliloquy #2



What is it with you that keeps me ironically hooked?

Is it the thrill of the unusual?

...the bliss of satisfied curiosity every second that we're together?

...the ecstacy of jumping headfirst without a single idea of what lies ahead?

What is it that keeps me here?

Is this just temporary interval of raging vanity held within?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.


*delayed post. i wrote this during a time of insecurity.

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09.03.09



Tonight marks the moment of your heart's indefinite destiny. How do i make you smile?
Or do I even need to try? Will you allow me? I know the uncertainty of what lies ahead pulls down the blissful curves on your face. And my heart feels restless knowing you feel a throbbing hurt within - a hurt you mask through your aura of indifference. My heart stings with just the thought of the probability that you might be just hiding it. I want to tell you that things are going to be okay but I know you would doubt that. I want to hug you and tell you that I'm here but will that make a difference. I'd tell you I love you but will that even correspond to a happy thought?

How do I make you smile tonight?


*I wrote this in a moment of self-control. He needed comfort more than i needed to vent.