Two Storms and a Funeral

With the typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng hitting the Philippines so bad, I can't help but to ponder on the most taboo topic there is, that which I was always uncomfortable talking about, that which haunts me in silent hours of the night - death.

While the Philippine people cry for the loss of their beloved and while they weep with their utterance of why they believe their lost loved ones do not deserve to die yet, I dare to tell everyone now why I should be the one dying.

I apologize for those who would take offense in my bold beliefs. I am with no intention of stepping on your sensibilities. I am merely a girl who goes through intervals of profound thoughts.

1. A death of a loved one is a death of a part in my heart. I could die now and not feel the hurt of anyone of my family and friends dying. If I die now, I don't have to live to survive that kind of pain.
2. If I die now, I'd die young, happy and content.
3. If I die now, I'd have a lot of my friends in my funeral. Dying old sometimes means dying alone especially if you outlive everyone dear to you.
4. If I die now, then my death can be an epiphany to some people, including those who have taken me for granted.
5. If I die now...maybe, just maybe...
   

I know that this blog entry might be one of those that is not properly calibrated with my sense of logic. My claims here might even be the most absurd ones I'll ever make. But right now, spare me the judgment. I'm still here...very much alive. The Judgment will come afterwards.


*It's just that maybe today...I'm just sad...too sad.
*This blog I wrote with thoughts of T. Villanueva, Chico, Rosita Lomibao, Renz Munoz, Charing Rubina, Remedios Cayana, Paolo Villarba. You were angels when you were here. You are angels now.