An Open Letter

I should be name-dropping right now. I'm really not the juvenile type who hides my misdemeanor through vague evil hints. But let's not get into that. That is another matter for another day. We go now to my point.

I do not know if you really know who you're dealing with madame. You address me with great confidence as if you have already measured me up - all 5 feet, 2 inches of me, all 24 years of my life. I dare not contest your self-proclaimed knowledge of me. Perhaps you do know. Perhaps you don't. Either way, you are the master of your own reality. So I'll let you enjoy your thoughts.

To fill in probable perceptive gaps and/or discrepancies though, let me introduce myself formally to you. I find it very rude of me that I have already been the subject of your thoughts and yet I have not properly given an introduction. Perhaps, this will help you appropriate your perception of me better.

Know though that I have only included the things you might be interested in. I don't think it would be any of your interests to know that I am cum laude in UP, business development manager at the age of 23 years old, almost the youngest hired in all of the professions I have held, an owner of her own house at the age of 22, an owner of her own business at 23, a financier of a college beneficiary all through college at 21 and a well-loved, sister, daughter, friend and girlfriend. I am a lover of God and I believe my God loves me too. So I'll skip this part and just introduce myself through the things that might actually spur your interest.

My name is Simone. You may call me by any name. I don't mind. I can see that you have already exercised this privilege anyway. Good for you.

I currently have two zits on right cheek. This happens every month a week before my period. I have growing varicose veins on both my legs due to the high heels I wear to work. I am relatively dark-skinned. My legs and arms serve as fat depositories of my body. Of course, you probably already know that my chin looks stronger than anybody else's and my forehead is just nerdy wide. My nose is small. Believe it or not, mine is already the most attractive in our family. Oh, fixing my brows is not exactly the finale of my every night so hair is just everywhere right above my eyelids. My fart smells just as bad as anybody else's. Perhaps, yours don't. And yes, I wake up with morning breath. I am flat-chested and I have tummy fats (you're right, bilbil) and sometimes when my feet get all sweaty because of a tough day at work, they smell. I don't fix my fingernails and toe nails and I am one with the female species on the hatred for armpit hair.

So my darling arch foe, this is my gift to you. I am opening myself to all your ridicule. My vulnerability is in your hands to act upon. I am giving you all the things you find most important - those where you might get negative things about me from, those you'll use to put me down.

I end this letter in good faith that by now, you probably know me better than you did before.Come to think of it, I may pass as ugly. And maybe I am. Maybe you already know. Treat this then as a way for you to further enjoy your thoughts.

Merry Christmas.


-simone


P.S1. You have glaring SVA errors, not that it matters of course. I'm just letting you know.

P.S2. If you hurt me again, I swear I'd ask your mother to teach you some manners.

P.S3. Replying to this letter will just make you look more juvenile. So yeah.