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Sunday, November 27, 2005

The adventure I call "today"

The things I hate about today:

1. I'm practically up all night last night.

2. I'm practically up all night last night just thinking about today's exams.

3. I'm practically up all night last night thinking about the last thing I would like to think about.

4. When I woke up (well, it's physically impossible to wake up when you're not asleep in the first place but let's just use the phrase anyway), I was still thinking about the exams. Geez!

5. Surprisingly, the ride to the university was fast. No traffic, no delays! Well it's a sunday. Maybe that explains it but even so...where was the traffic when you need it? Where were the no-good drivers who cause a lot of delays when you actually need their "no-goodness"? waaah!

6. When I finally reached my destination, the line was already super long and because I'm really not in the mood to exercise patience, I was totally pissed off. Hey, is this country the Philippines or what? Where's Filipino time when you actually want it? Right there and then, I wanted to shout..."bakit ang aga niyo?"

7. And then the moment of truth arrived.Answer sheet. Scratch sheet. Test booklet. my dreams. my future...a lot of things were suddenly infront of me...scary things! I would have screamed if all the people inside that room were from UP. I mean, I didn't want to just have a nervous breakdown with this girl from Ateneo sitting beside me. No way! So I stayed calm. And believe me, staying calm in a situation where panic is acceptable...makes you want to die...literally!

8. Okay so I started answering this rather long test which seemed to me like a bunch of complicated questions meant to measure my IQ. It was not long after when I realized that it is in no means measuring my IQ... it's pushing it down to a birdbrain level! I totally blanked out in the math portion. I mean what kind of person doesn't know how to get averages and percentages! Hello bang...you're sister can answer that question! Anyway, I knew I failed the test after that.

9. Equality before the Law: myth or reality .... this is my favorite! What kind of person writes an essay on a topic she's not clear about. I was like..."wait, what does this mean? Is it that equality should be achieved first before the implemetation of the law? Or is it that Equality should be "before", as in the guiding principle, from which the Law is supposed to be based?" I asked this to myself 3 minutes before the test was concluded. Useless!

10. After the 31/2 hours long, no-breaks exam that I now think caused my brain a lot of damages and my ass an incomparable feeling of pain, I settled on an empty seat in a jeepney anticipating the encouraging welcome-back-from-hell greetings of my housemate and my mum. But no, it seemed that bad luck was not going to be easy on me...yes, even after what I already went through. Keep staring at my legs and I'll push you off this jeep at the next stop! Grrr...I hated that guy! Proud pa siya na maniac siya! I mean yeah, I'm wearing a tight-fitting skirt, somehow yeah, it's okay to look coz legs are legs anyway (still the same melanin, still the same pores, no biggie about that), but hey no one permitted you to glue your eyes on them! Kung gusto mo ng legs, maligo ka at tingnan mo yung sayo. Grrr... I can still see the faces of the other people in the jeepney, apparently feeling pity for me for that kind of sexual harrasment. Ayhetchu!

11. When I got home, mum is not there anymore. She left for the province already. =(

12. And so we now come to the last thing that I hate about today (so far, I mean). I hate being infront of this computer. I hate remembering all these unfortunate events.I hate today and yeah, I hate hating it.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Numbers

I didn't know numbers can be depressing.

over 1000 - number of people I know.
over 500 - number of people i like.
over 100 - number of people I talk to.
over 50 - number of people i hang-out with often.
over 20 - number of people i get in touch with everyday.
10 - max number of people whom i told this blog address to.
8 - number of people who know this addie but forgot about it.
6 - number of people who know this addie but don't care much about it.
4 - max number of people who have read through this blog.
3 - max number of people who posted their comments.
1 - umm...this is the number of persons who truly care about what's written here. =(

**sadly that "1" is me.

From the bottom of my hypothalamus

The thought of you makes me nervous.

The thought of you makes me weak.

I want you to be mine. I want to win you. But my every attempt seems to fail.

I want to be part of you someday and I want you to be part of me.

But how could I if I'm just this?

How could I have you if I'm just me?

I think of you and you just seem so far away...unreacheable...out of my league.

Would I be enough to win you? Would a Supernatural Being grant me to be with you?

Please make room for me. Please give me a chance.

I planned my life with you in it. And I plan to stick with that plan.

Please make room for me. Please give me a chance.

** this goes to my incomparable, yet-to-be friend whom I would want to share my life with - the UP Law School.