My short list of to-do's

There are two things I dream to do before this lifetime ends...I'll tell you but then I have to kill you...(familiar huh?)=)

First thing: I wanna get married with someone I love someday. But of course, he has to love me too. And then, we'll have kids together. One will be named, Yleina Avian, my favorite name in the world. We'll have a house near a beach, sort of like "fullhouse". And then...we'll live happily ever after. Neat huh! my very own fairy tale...hmmm...

two: I wanna sing...that's it? yeah...that's it! I don't care if i do it in a coliseum or in a family reunion or even if it's just for an intermission number in a party.I want to sing. As long as there's a stage, a microphone and as long as I have the people i love as my audience. And yeah, I have to have my guitar as well.

No, it's not about fame and my deep need for attention. I just don't want to have regrets. I want to tell myself someday, that yeah, I did sing once.

I want to sing and let people know I can. That's it!

Irony

1 year and two months vs. less than a month
just a ride away vs. miles apart
every morning text messages vs. no text at all
every once in a while hellos vs. no news at all
2 missed calls and a message vs. empty inbox
whole-day communication vs. only-night conversations

Stop thinking Bang! You'll only get disappointed! Sira ka kasi!

"Love is the wisdom of the fools and the folly of the wise"

HEAR! HEAR!

The Enigma of my Personality

Sungit Mode...the more i get pissed off, the cuter i get...hehehe





this smile says "take me, i'm yours" hehehe...

Pink is the color of Wrath

I don’t know what to say.

I’m in some internet café in manila, between classes, trying to figure out, what I want to say.

Why can’t I say it out loud? Or maybe the real question is, what is it really that I want people to hear? What is it that I want to tell you?

Three words: I hate you.

I hate you because of your lies. I hate you because of the flowers and the touching messages. I hate you because of your calls and the time you spent talking to me about useless and nonsensical stuffs. I hate you because you promised to make one of my dreams come true – to sing. I hate you because you made me believe you were true.

And so there.

But why do I still feel like screaming my lungs out?

I know why. It’s because you can’t hear me and you’ll never know how much you’ve hurt me. You’ll never realize the repercussions of what you’ve done to my self-perception. You’ll never know of the feelings I’m suppressing right now. You’ll never know and you’ll never understand. You know why? Because you’re selfish! Because you’re insensitive! Because you’re cruel!

I will hate you until the sky turns to pink. I will hate you until the sun stops shining. I will hate you until there are no more mangoes in the world. I will hate you until the world stops appreciating music. I will hate you until time stops. I will hate you until hate becomes an obsolete concept. I will hate you forever.

And so there.

Again, I don’t know what to say.

I just wish I said enough, just enough to make me live through this day, just one more day, just one more.

I wish I’ve said enough to make me last another day.

Men

Betrayal.Hurt.Wrath.

Lies.Lies.Lies.

What else is there that’s still not given to me?
How many more people would come by and make me taste life’s bitter realities?
When will this all stop? When would this cruelty end?

What did I ever do to you? What have I done wrong?
When will this all stop? When will this cruelty end?

Betrayal.Hurt.Wrath.

Lies.Lies.Lies.

Somebody…somebody, tell me why I am treated this way…
Somebody…somebody, tell me why I deserved what happened…
Somebody…somebody, help me understand…