Culprit Trainer in Action: The Job that Was

SYNTAX and SHIT

You want honesty? here it is.

There are people in the office I really hate. A lot of them actually. a whole lot. Our department is the perfect place to study organizational politics. It's chaos personified. The thought of it wants me to puke everything I ate since last week. That's how I seriously despise the situation. and the fact that i'm still here makes the feeling worse. It's like the constant feeling of being constipated. It's like eating shit...literally. Eeewww..i know.

How will I put it? hmm...well, for one, people here are so nosy. I don't know what pleasure they get from minding other people's businesses, but whatever pleasure that is, i just hope it's worth their reputations. They act around like perfect creatures of God, incapable of committing grammatical lapses or mispronunciations, when in fact, the only thing they know about are schwas and linking verbs and "syntax and shit". Seriously, I have never heard them talk about education, poverty, economics..things that matter. They're so fixated with "syntax and shit" that they already think highly of themselves just because they know the latin word for vowels. lame!

Two, they create gossips about people and their misdemeanors as if these things meant their lives. I don't care if this trainer slept with his trainee, so shove it! And what is it with sex scandals?! I pity people who find fault to people who are victims of those videos. Sick guys here would boast about their copies of that certain video and use (or misuse) modern technology to spread the footage with their i-pity-this-girl-in-the-video look in their faces. Oh common, do you actually believe these guys?! They keep copies of the naked videos of their co-workers and tell everyone they actually feel "pity"?! Yeah, they feel pity alright...while having an erection! We are adults here. Maturity is free just like common sense. The only thing these couples in the videos are at fault with, is that they just wanted to give sex a little spice. Is sex bad? Is a little spice bad? Well then, stop fantasizing over that freakin' video and go point your stick over something else. If those videos showed something, it showed that some people are (or were) getting it....with real people...real time. As for those who clamor over these videos...two words: tsk..tsk..(hahaha..words)!

Three, ass-kissing freaks are the worst kind of co-workers. Everytime I see this guy in the office, a picture of him eating our boss' feces comes into my mind. In that picture, he's licking my boss' butt then the feces comes out and he eats it. Graphic, isn't it. Well, that's how bad the situation is. Everybody knows how good of an ass-kisser he is. And nobody has the gutts to say anything (except me, of course) practically because his saliva is what's keeping our boss' bum clean. Our boss thinks he's all that. I'll let her enjoy her thoughts. Anyway, things we don't know won't hurt us. And i don't want my beloved boss to be hurt, right? *wink*


The good thing about being the so-so person in the office is that you get to observe everybody and you get to react on everything there is about them. You can hate them..even loathe them...and they wouldn't mind...basically because, they don't know....they don't know you're observing...they don't know you're wrath exists...they don't know you're capable of reacting....

*sigh* ....the power of apathy....

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Rhetorics and Realizations

1. Rhetorical Letter #1
Dear Boss,
If you're so good, why aren't you promoted yet?

love,
Rhetorical Trainer


2. Rheotrical Letter #2
Dear Co-workers,
Same question, if you're so good, why aren't you promoted yet?

love,
Rhetorical Trainer



3. Rhetorical Letter #3
Dear all,
If rhetorical letters 1 and 2 are really rhetorical, why are you still here in ACS?

love,
Rhetorical Trainer

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Desktops, Keyboards and Oxymorons

Oxymoron - a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (as cruel kindness)

1. Best Mediocres
2. True Hearsays
3. Idle Workhours
4. Hardworking bums
5. Appointed flexi schedule
6. Passive rebellion
7. Written listening exercises
8. Imperfect gods and godesses
9. Planned entropy
10. MISS ditte!


Above is a list of cleverly paired up words used by the author to intellegently describe the corporate phenomenon she calls "since-i'm-so-effin'-bored-i'm-gunna-make-a-blog".

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Sad Non sequiturs

Non Sequitur
1 : an inference that does not follow from the premises; specifically : a fallacy resulting from a simple conversion of a universal affirmative proposition or from the transposition of a condition and its consequent
2 : a statement (as a response) that does not follow logically from or is not clearly related to anything previously said

1. You're smart and hardworking,; Therefore, your boss will appreciate you being in the team. Non sequitur.

2. You are the boss of Language trainers; Therefore, you have good communication skills. Non sequitur

3. You are apathetic; Therefore you do not have something to say. Non sequitur.

4. You are the "anak ng diyos" in your team; Therefore, you are the best among your co-workers. Non sequitur.

5. You treat a person in the office as a friend; Therefore, he will keep your secrets and he won't do anything to pull you down. Non sequitur.


*me in my before-i-finished-this-module state

the ultimatum

Tell me I didn't love you enough.

Tell me I never listened.

Tell me I never accepted your imperfections.

Tell me I broke all my promises.

Tell me that I chose myself over you.

Tell me I never closed my eyes and swallowed my pride.

Tell me I never considered you.

Tell me my love wasn't enough.

Tell me I never let you win.

Tell me I weren't strong for you.

Tell me I'm weak.

Tell me I never fought for us...

...that I never fought to keep you.

Just tell me...

...so I'll come crawling back again.

my vernacular heart

Hindi na ako matatakot magalit. Hindi na ako matatakot magtampo. Hindi ko na pipigilan ang sarili ko kung nasasaktan ako. Hindi ko na tutuyuin ang luha ko bago pa man sila pumatak. Hindi ko na itatago ang lahat ng sakit. Hindi na ako matatakot na lumaban. Hindi na ako magpapanggap. Hindi na ako ngingiti sa kabila ng mga ito. Hindi na ako magwawalang-bahala. Hindi ako magkikibit-balikat. Hindi na ako matatakot magsalita. Hindi na ako matatakot lumaban. Hindi na ako matatakot sabihing tama na. Hindi na ako matatakot sa posibilidad na hindi mo ako susundan. Hindi na ako matatakot na baka ito na ang katapusan. Hindi na ako matatakot na baka hindi mo ako habulin. Hindi na ako matatakot sa posibilidad na hindi mo ako ipaglalaban. Hindi na ako matatakot maging matapang

Kung talagang mahal mo ako...hindi mo ko hahayaang matakot.

Kung talagang mahal mo ako...ay malalaman ko na ngayon.

Dear Aries

The paragraphs hereon would be senseless if I do not, beforehand engage in a rather self-indulgent piece. So spare me if I try to tell you who I am, even if you may not care, even if you feel you have no business with me, through this kind of communication, ironically enough.

Perhaps you already know some information about me, the superficial ones I suppose. I'd like to think I'm the only one who can actually describe "me", accurately, justifiably, at least. I would not therefore, dwell on what is obvious. I'll tell you the side of me that concerns you and consequently the side of me that doesn't want to concern you.

I am never greedy. I share whatever I have and try to make up for whatever I don’t have. This is the reason why I’m practically stuck in an unending whirl of investments, both financial and emotional. But I know better than to sulk over these. This incapacity to move forward as an individual because of the people who depend on me - those who clamour for attention, support and love – are those that also make me strong. My existence is somehow justified through them.

But I too have to depend on someone sometimes as I am not perfection. I too have a responsibility to justify someone else’s life. And this responsibility I found in Jarreed. I have depended and trusted the most fragile side of me to him – that side I never show to a lot of people, this side of me that’s scared and vulnerable and insecure, this side of me that concerns you.

Forgive me if I hate you a little. Know that, as I feel this, I know I’m acting way below my perceived level of maturity. I am just hurt that you are able to make him choose to talk to you over my constant reminder that I feel uneasy with even a mere mention of you. I am just hurt because I feel I am cheated somehow and that I am not given a fair fight – I am given just the present, just his present while you, you have his past and now, you’re here too.

I do not ask that you go or avoid him or to do anything in impulse as such will dig me deeper in the ground. You will gain his sympathy while I will be treated with a shrewd look every time matters of the past are discussed. You will have the advantage that while he thinks I am “irrationally, illogically and immaturely jealous”, you are “understanding, selfless and respectable.” I do not want to be in that place. Please do not put me there.

Forgive me if I hate you a little. I am given just the present, just his present while you have his past. And although, I’d like him to keep you there, you now are here. This is the part of me that concerns you. And I vow that this will be my last mention of it. I have reached the crux and I am moving on.

I will now take it on good faith that Jarreed makes the right decision and be happy with it. Or, he can make his mistakes and learn from them. I will erase every single presumption I have of him and you. I will work hard through long hours and live my life with the constant knowledge of its precariousness. I will love more but depend/expect less. I will concern myself only with people that matter to me – those whom I matter too. This is the side of me that doesn’t want to concern you. And I will stick by it and stand firm on it.

You have to fogive me if all of this came off as offensive to your sensibilities. Know that I have to forgive myself too, for doing this.